A Different Decision
by jjrw1998
Summary: One-shot about what would have happened if Claire had chosen differently. A spin off from my Story Alchemy and the Magic it Makes. Read that to read this, but you don't have to. Contains death, and a healthy helping of sadness.


_**Hello, this is my one-shot for the alternate ending for my story Alchemy and the Magic it Makes. It's an alternate ending because it's the second choice Claire could have done. If you have read the story it's from chapter 10 from the words below in italics! If not, read the story, or if you really can't be bothered then basically Claire had to decide whether to die or become a vampire.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_I woke in bleary light, the rays of the sun shining down onto my face._ I smiled, albeit sadly, this was going to be my last Sunrise. I felt a lump form in my throat. But I quickly wiped my eyes before heading to the shower, I knew that the warm water would make me feel better, to ease and clean my body. It was the last shower I would ever take. I marvelled at my body as I washed myself. How had I never appreciated it before? I felt the shower give a cold spurt onto my back, stepping out and turning it off I walked slowly into my room and sat on the bed.

Could I really do this?

Yes, I had to.

Taking a deep breath I searched through it, until I found the perfect outfit, for my death. I suddenly realised what it must have felt like 100's of years ago, going to your public execution, knowing that today was your last. I took a deep breath again and pulled on my outfit carefully, I couldn't let myself show feeling, ever. The dress was floor length and black and purple, perfect for a prom or funeral. The thought made me smile, and then grimace, I the quickest succession. I remembered when Eve had bought me it, smiling at me and telling me it would look fab for the fancy dress we were going to. It did, and I loved it. It was a good dress to die in, that I knew, after all that was what I was going to do now.

Amelie had said it would be painless, hadn't she? I couldn't remember, I worried for a second as I pulled on my shoes, but it was of no consequence. I didn't want to be a monster. That was why I was going to die, for good. I didn't want to hurt and kill people like that, no matter what I could have learnt, the people I would have met, the discoveries I could have made. The thousands of life's I could have spent with Myrnin. It did matter, it did. But, in the same breath, it didn't. nothing was going to matter soon.

Walking over to the mirror I carefully traced the lines of my face as I gently did my makeup and gently coming and drying my hair. Marvelling in the silky strands, that so carefully came together. Like magic. Taking a deep breath I stepped back from the mirror and saw myself. I looked as if I was going somewhere important special, I suppose my death could count as that, couldn't it?

_(link for what she was wearing on profile)_

Taking another deep breath I walked slowly down the stairs, watching as the sun played shadows across each step. I marvelled in how old the house was, how had it survived this long, when I couldn't? Could I change my decision? Could I drink innocent people's blood, to keep myself alive? Could I really do that to myself? Could I live for so long, when others people's lives were snuffed out like a candle?

Could I be that heartless?

No, I couldn't be? Or was I being heartless by doing this? Just leaving, no goodbye, no explanation. I had no choice. I had run out of time.

Finishing walking down the stairs I entered the kitchen and looked round it, the stain on the cupboard, the missing handle. I couldn't help but feel a tug to the place, now that it was to be the last time I would eat here. But, what does one eat, when you know it is pointless? I would be dead before it could be of use. That thought left a hollow pit in my stomach, that I knew would never be filled, again.

Should I make myself a proper meal, or just something normal, something that was me, to the end. Yeah, something that was me, to the end. How had people done this for centuries? I wondered as I waited for the poptarts to pop. How had they so calmy eaten breakfast or lunch or whatever, and just gone to their death. I remembered a history lesson about Anne Boleyn how she had gone to the block calmly and died, she had eaten and made peace. She was ready. I wasn't. Then there was Lady Jane Grey who was only 16 when she died, she had been composed. But I remembered how she had been unable to reach the block, had stumbled to it, and then been led there. She had died with dignity, in the end. Would I?

How was I to die? Poison, bullet, blade? How could they kill me with mercy? I shook slightly as I thought of it. Would it hurt? How did they know if it had? Should I have written a will, leaving people things? I supposed that would have been the good thing to do, to leave my things to people, to set my affairs in order. To say goodbye. I hadn't even done that. Another lump stuck in my throat as I tried to swallow my last breakfast. There was no point. My small amount of food swallowed I carefully put everything away. What should I do now? Try and do my will? Maybe. Walking to the stack of paper I carefully started scribbling down anything I could think of before giving it to people. My clothes to Eve, my money to a charity, a lock of hair to Shane, my toys to my parents, a months rent to Michael, anything I could think of I scribbled down who it was to go too.

Smiling I laid the paper down next to the note I had written, it was in adequate, stupid, but it would have to do.

_By the time you read this, I will be dead. Well and truly. Yesterday I was given the choice to die or become a vampire. I couldn't face it, so I chose the option that may be easiest. Death. I should have tried to tell you yesterday, but I couldn't tell you. I didn't know how. I'm so sorry. Please try and forgive me._

_There is no point trying to find you, ring Amelie and she will tell you, I'm sure. Next to this is a piece of paper with all my worldy objects on. Please respect my wishes. I'm so sorry. I hope you all lead the best lives possible, and that you can forget me, and move on. I don't want you to worry about me. Hopefully I'm in a happier place. _

_Eve, I'm sorry I walked in on you and Michael yesterday. But, I hope you have an amazing life, and if you choose to become a vampire, I would say good luck. But, I can't face it. I know you will blame yourself, but don't, this isn't your battle or your fault. Thanks for being my best friend. Have a nice life. Love you Eve._

_Michael, I'm sorry that I walked in on you and Eve. But, I hope your undead life is oddly alive and that your album goes worldwide, you deserve it. Thanks for taking me in, and taking care of me. I don't know what I would have done without you. Thanks so much. You told me once that if I was going to move out I had to pay a month's rent in advance, so I have. Please take the money. Look after Eve and Shane. Love you._

_Shane, I'm so sorry this is going to end like this. But, I never stopped loving you. A small part of me still loves you, even though I know I shouldn't. but, I forgive you. Go ahead with your life, and don't mourn me for too long. Live your life and keep smiling, your amazing Shane and I wouldn't have changed our time together for anything. I'm sorry. I'll say hello to your sister and mum in heaven, and I'll tell them how amazing you are. Love you Shane. _

_Please remember me,_

_Forgive me,_

_Claire xxx_

A few tear dropped on the page as I re-read the letter. But I had no more chance, walking back upstairs I cleaned my teeth gently, I wanted to be my best for my death. I smiled weakly in the mirror. Looking around the bathroom I remembered all the good times in here, with Shane and how much I loved the Shower, and Michaels six-pack. I took a deep breath, trying to inhale the room and the memories.

I shut the door with a soft snap. I couldn't leave yet though, I had to say goodbye, even though they would never know. Ever. I walked to Shane's room first. It was dark, and he didn't stir, as I had hoped.

"Goodbye Shane. I'll love you forever." I was about to go, but I couldn't resist. Walking to his bed I looked down at his sleeping face, it was innocent, in sleep at least. I knew it was a bad idea. But I had to do it. Leaning down I pressed a tender kiss to his lips. Pulling back he didn't move. A silent tear tracked down my face.

I walked from the room slowly, drinking it in- his mess, the smell of his cologne and deodorant. I shut the door softly and let another tear escape. Walking down the hall to Eve's room I opened the door and saw it was empty, as I half expected. Closing the door I walked down to Michaels room and opened it slowly, half expecting Michael to pounce on me. Nothing happened.

They were curled up together, Michael had his arm round her. I smiled at the sight. Walking up to Eve I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks Eve. I'll miss you. Love you."

I walked to the other side of the bed and whispered,

"Thanks Michael, miss you. Love you." Leaning down I pressed a feather light kiss to his cheek. I exited the room, and no-one rose.

Walking from room to room I knew it was time, I needed to go. I pressed a kiss to the wall beside the door. Unlocking the door I re-locked it and pressed a kiss to my key before sliding it through the letterbox. I turned from my home and set of, to my death.

The sun was warm on my face but I didn't bother to walk quickly. This was my special time, no-one else's. I savoured the cold wind that struck me, the leaves that whipped round, my skirts. I felt at peace.

Walking down the alley I stood outside the shack, and looked up to the sky. My last look of the sky, ever, I had never appreciated before have beautiful it was, how wonderful the world was. It was too late now. I opened the shack door and walked down the stairs, wiping the stray tear from my eye.

Amelie and Oliver were sat together and Myrnin was pacing. They all looked to me as they saw me enter the room, I saw their eyes evaluate me, they already knew what I Had chosen.

"What is your decision?" Amelie said her voice softer then I thought.

"To die." I whispered, they all looked at me. Then Amelie stood up and walked towards me.

Was this it, was she going to break my neck? She didn't she pulled me into a hug.

"You are brave Claire. We wish you the best of luck." She whispered in my ear.

"How am I to die?"

"Beheaded." She whispered back.

"Ok."

"Thank you Claire, you are braver then I," she said before pulling away and sitting down.

Oliver strode over now, he bowed low and took my hand,

"You are brave Claire. Your death will be a clean one." He planted a cool kiss on my hand before retreating. Myrnin walked over next, his eyes sad but full of pride, he too enveloped me in a hug.

"You are brave my little bird, I am so proud of you." He said his voice soft.

"But, I chose to die? I am too weak to become one of you. I am so sorry Myrnin, all we could have done."

"It is of no conscience, you are braver then us. We chose to remain alive, to scared to end the golden thread which has bound us to the wheel of life. You are brave you have chosen to cut your woollen thread, to go on, to see what is next. I fear we shan't meet again."

"Don't say that Myrnin." I whispered, "There is always a chance."

"Indeed there is." He pulled away and kissed me.

It was a slow kiss, smouldering and filled with sadness. I felt his tears fall on my cheeks, I felt him cry onto my face. It was a lover's kiss and it made me fill with sadness, we were meant to be, but we never had the chance. We pulled apart and looked at each other and turned to face Oliver who was looking at his, his face was sad and guilty.

"Have you confessed?" Amelie asked, her voice soft.

"No," I replied.

"Then please confess to a confessor." She said gently, leading in Father Joe, who smiled sadly at me.

"Have as long as you need." The vampires departed.

"You are very brave Claire." He said holding my shoulder.

"Thank you."

"It is such a shame you must die, your potential untapped. But god is merciful, perhaps we shall meet again in heaven…" He mused. He turned then to face me,

"Is there anything you would like to confess?" It was old fashioned and odd and so sad that I broke down and told him all the small things I had done wrong. Stealing a cookie form the jar when I was 6, swearing at an old woman when I was 12, everything. He looked at me when I'd finished and said,

"You have confessed your sins before God, who is merciful. Do you repent?"

"I do."

"God has forgiven you." He smiled and took my hand,

"Don't worry Claire, Heaven is waiting for you."

"Thank You father Joe."

"Are you ready?" Came a cold voice, Amelie. I gulped,

"Yes."

"Good." In came a man, masked, whom I had never known or seen. He carried a sharp sword, and a block.

I gulped as I saw it.

"Does it have to be here?" I said, my voice squeaking.

"No, we merely summoned him. You are to be killed." She gulped and took a deep breath "Before the vampire populace." She finished her voice near tears. My mind had gone blank, a public execution?

"Why?"

"To prove you are dead."

"Ok."

I walked to the portal and Myrnin was by my side, holding my swaying body steady. This was it, the day I was going to die. I couldn't believe it.

The portal opened in a darkened room. We stepped through and let a small tear fall.

"Are you ready?" Myrnin asked.

"Yes." I said as he lead me through the door.

We were in bright sunlight, the vampires were all underneath umbrellas, dressed in dark clothes, they all looked at me. I couldn't spot Michael and I wondered for a moment if he was there. I hoped not. Taking a deep breath I was lead to the scaffold, Myrnin guiding me all the way. I was shaking. The man was stood there, his sword gleaming in the light, the block pristine. I felt my heartrate increase.

I climbed the steps, careful to lift my skirt, I wasn't going to trip. Stepping onto the scaffold I felt all their eyes focused on me. There was a commotion near the back, and I knew it was Michael, shouting something I couldn't hear. I smiled slightly. Walking to the block I knew this was it. Should I make a speech, say something?

"Thank You for showing me the respect of coming. I'll put in a good word in heaven for you, if you ever enter." I turned from the crowd they were still silent, watching. I gulped as I saw the block. Myrnin passed me something, a scarf, to tie round my eyes. I felt my palms start sweating. I walked closer to the block. Myrnin pulled me back a step.

He lowered his face to mine and gave me a scorching kiss that tasted of love and regret. He pulled back and rested his cool forehead against my warm one.

"I love you Claire Danvers." He said, his eyes streaming with cold tears.

" I love you too Myrnin Conwy."

I gave him one last kiss, and turned to the block, I knelt before it, and took a deep breath. It would be over soon. My shaking hands held up the scarf. It was black, edged with gold, I wondered briefly how old it was and was it worth being ruined by my blood? The crowd was silent.

I carefully tied it round my eyes, shutting everything off. I was blind. Moving my hands forwards to the block I rested my hands on it a moment and felt the sot grooves in it. I took a deep breath a lowered my head onto it.

"Mary mother o God, pray for us sinners now and at the time of our death…" I couldn't remember the rest, but in a flash of a sword, suddenly nothing battered anymore.

_And nothing ever wood again._

_**OMG I was almost crying whilst I was writing this. But, please review and tell me what you thought. xxx**_


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